Vivinavi : Hawaii : (United States) Hawaii

• JJ
• 2022/07/11 (Mon) 14:33
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I live in Hawaii.

I am not a single mom, but many people move to Las Vegas or Texas after divorce.

Everyone has a different occupation, income, and child support, so some people remain in Hawaii.

When I see people paying rent even though they are living on a pension, I think it would be easier

when they retire to buy a house and finish their mortgage sooner. An expensive rental with not much pension. I know people who continued to pay rent until they died.

I felt sorry for him because he needed help from his son and daughter and was living too close to the edge.

Let's try not to let that happen to each other.

• MM
• 2022/07/12 (Tue) 01:29
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Thank you for your answer.

Do Las Vegas and Texas have a system or something that makes it easier for singles to live there ？

You still need money to stay in Hawaii.
The single moms around me have room to stay in Hawaii if they can afford childcare or have a private company.

Living with my parents in Japan would not be a bad idea either, since I would not be able to see my grandchildren every day.

• 盆踊りに行きたい
• mail
• 2022/07/12 (Tue) 08:31
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Dear MM

The final decision will be made by your children.
If your children are still in elementary school, we recommend that you return to Japan without hesitation. If they are older than that, I think you should discuss this with your children and make a decision. If your children are older than that, you should discuss this with them and make a decision, because you can return to Japan even after they are grown up. I believe that many people move to Texas and other places because of the low cost of living. If they are military personnel, I understand, but if they are not, I would not recommend it. If they are not, I would not recommend them to move to Japan because of the high crime rate as well as the low cost of living.

• JJ
• 2022/07/12 (Tue) 08:42
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I heard that the closer to Japan, the cheaper prices are in Las Vegas and Texas.

If your child speaks Japanese, it might be a good idea for you and your child to return to Japan.

• Zoo
• 2022/07/12 (Tue) 15:33
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I know a single mother of two who has become a U.S. citizen and as a low income person, she has a food stamp 🙂 (a credit card that can only be used for food) from the state of Hawaii, and food does not seem to be a problem for her. There may be food assistance available.

• Zoo
• 2022/07/12 (Tue) 15:40
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I know a single mother of two who is a US citizen and gets assistance as a low income person. She works, of course, but she also surfs and seems to enjoy it.

• MM
• 2022/07/12 (Tue) 19:48
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Since they are still in elementary school, it is still a good bet that they will return to Japan. I am worried that it will not be too late for my children if they want to study in an English-speaking country in the future. I am afraid to live in Texas and other states.

Life with my husband is too painful. I am filled with distrust.
I feel bad for my children if my mother is not cheerful and smiling. I want to get a divorce and live a second life ！ ！.

• JJ
• 2022/07/12 (Tue) 21:03
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MM-san

The level of education in Japan is high, so if your child is still in elementary school, it is not too late
and it is better to be educated in Japan.
If your child moves to the U.S. for college or in his/her 20s, English will come back to life.
One in two people are divorced nowadays.
There are not only divorced people, but also divorced people who are divorced. lol)))}
Life is Short Be happy rather than endure.

• MM
• 2022/07/12 (Tue) 21:54
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It will take a lot of horsepower until the divorce is finalized
but now is a good time to step up to the plate and do my best.
For the sake of my children and myself ！ ！ ！

Yes, there are some divorcees ！
who have a new life with a new partner. ！ In Hawaii, Jun HASEGAWA also ！

acts quickly towards a positive amicable divorce.

• 子連れ帰国？
• 2022/07/12 (Tue) 23:34
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Does your husband give his consent for you to take the child back to Japan ？

It is very difficult to get 100% custody of the child, especially if you are divorcing an American. If you bring your child back to Japan without your husband's consent, it will be treated as kidnapping, so if you are taking your child back to Japan, it would be better to discuss it properly and put it in writing.

• MM
• 2022/07/14 (Thu) 20:00
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My husband has given his consent at one point. We have had several big fights in the past, so I think he assumed that I would take them back home. Divorce in the U.S. is complicated and time consuming, unlike in Japan. I have often wished that we could have a simple divorce between the parties as in Japan.

• 私もバツ1
• 2022/07/14 (Thu) 22:19
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A long time ago in my case,
both Legal Custody (Legal Custody)》 and Physical Custody (Parenting Custody)》 were 100% for me.

My ex-husband agreed to return to Japan as he cannot live with the children.

But the children have the right to see their father, and
returning to Japan became a dream.
In my case, the children were only allowed to see their father 16 hours a week
so I had to send them to Hawaii during summer and winter vacations. Since it would be a total of 3 months a year, sending them during summer and winter vacations is half the father's expense, but it is not easy.

Divorce takes more power than marriage.

Good luck with your children.

• MM
• 2022/07/14 (Thu) 23:26
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Thank you for your experience.

It is also a pain that you have to stay behind with those rules.
#14, are you happy with divorce? ？

I heard that an acquaintance of mine was able to get a divorce under Japanese law as long as she was going back to Japan. You should ask your lawyer about this too.

• 私もバツ1
• 2022/07/15 (Fri) 01:06
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MM

In my case, my ex-husband was violent, so I had one choice: divorce.
Please consult a competent lawyer to protect yourself and your children.

I don't think it was in my time
to say that if you assume you are going to return to Japan, you should use Japanese law.

Laws change so often that it is hard to say, but
100% custody is rare and usually 50%50%, and then it is difficult to return to Japan.

I got divorced more than 10 years ago, but
I was told by my lawyer that children born in the US were obligated to live in the US.

The financial aspect is fine.
If MM works, she can live on child support and government assistance.
And when your ex-husband retires, you will get half of his pension.

• MM
• 2022/07/15 (Fri) 08:17
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I'm sorry to hear that you were in a domestic violence situation. I am sorry to have reminded you of something unpleasant.

I was quite surprised to learn that in the U.S. you have to agree on many things when you get divorced.
My desire to return to Japan has become even stronger. I was worried about the financial aspect, but I am glad that I have an assumption that I can live both in the U.S. and in Japan.

• Ginger
• mail
• 2022/07/15 (Fri) 11:18
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I am also a divorcee with two children. I went to beauty school with my ex-husband a long time ago because I felt a gap in values between him and me.
The principal told me that I should extend the divorce as long as I could ？ and build a foundation for my life while getting support from the government. I was given a government grant and a tuition waiver, and the tuition I had paid was repaid.
Five years later, after more than 10 years on paper, I get my military ex-husband's retirement, half SSA for being married for 10 years, and a few years later, I switch to my higher benefits. I am really thankful for Marry.
Don't be discouraged. Don't be discouraged. I know it's hard to sleep at night, but this is
Life is all about acceptance and only about the children and yourself
Settlement should be written in a clear manner.
All expenses for children to visit their father are to be paid by the father
Airfare, clothes, etc.
Expenses for sweet sixteen parties are to be paid by the father.
High school and college enrollment fees are covered by the father. If he/she goes to college, he/she will be supported until he/she turns 24 years old.
You are responsible for school trips
You are responsible for income tax for both children
Support for your future as a housewife
In case of divorce, where should I go to court, Japan or Hawaii ？
In Hawaii, if you cheat on your wife, you can get a divorce decree. If you are cheating on your husband, it's no foult.
If you go alone for a free 30 minute consultation with a lawyer, you should go in 25 minutes
Set your watch and don't go over.
America is a friendly place for Single Mother. You can talk to a counselor to arrange for a government grant to help you get into school. Or, if you go back to Japan where your mother lives, it would be nice to have a supporter.

• MM
• 2022/07/15 (Fri) 23:25
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#18
Thank you for your kind attention. I see that one way to remain in the US is to get a certificate from school. It is very helpful. I envy you that you met a wonderful principal and now you are living a wonderful life. Action speaks volumes. I have to take action too.
I am encouraged.

It was recently in the news that the price of living in Hawaii has gone up even more, and I think it would be better to return to Japan if I think the price will go up rapidly.