Vivinavi : Hawaii : (United States) Hawaii

• 日本人
• 2022/07/22 (Fri) 17:11
• Report

There are Americans
not only Japanese.

• Orchid7
• mail
• 2022/07/22 (Fri) 17:58
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I understand the pain of being ostracized. I have had several experiences of being ostracized not only by Japanese but also by local people in the workplace. I was the only one in my department who was not from the local area.
The women graduated from the local high school ・ university, had relatives or friends in common, and I could not keep up with them because of the unique local food culture and conversations in local slang. I tried my best to stay in the circle, but if one person in the group was stubborn and would not accept me, the others would follow his/her lead and exclude me from the group. It was bullying. When there was only one local woman in the group, we could have fun talking to each other, but when the group grew to two or three, we were again ostracized because our conversations were intercepted. Some had Japanese-American grandfathers or parents, and some had Japanese-American surnames, but none of them had ever been to Japan and were completely American. I wonder why...maybe it is the unique culture of island countries, not only Japanese people. Non-Japanese women in the Mainland who moved here a few years ago also told me about their experiences of being ostracized by the local people. Not only at work, but also in the community where they live. I know of families who have moved away because they couldn't take it anymore. I know that bullying and ostracism are common among non-Japanese as well, but I can understand why they feel that they can't get along better with other Japanese people. I have come to the conclusion that the cause of the problem is not me, but the people who don't let me join their group, so I don't have to worry about it. I still feel sad about it, though.　As a result, I am getting along well with other women who have gone through the same thing, transcending racial barriers.

• アイ
• 2022/07/22 (Fri) 22:25
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It is not only Japanese. Even among Americans, there are some.

I have a husband from Hawaii, and he, his friends, and everyone around him are mostly white haters first.

But Japanese bullying is unique. It's not only in the workplace, but also among my mom's friends.
My friend A and my friend B got to know each other because of me, but they play without me without inviting me, and they complain behind my back while pretending to be friendly with my friends.
Do you usually play with other people's friends ？ 😅

I don't know.
Relationships are droll and tiring.
It's very hard to find people you feel comfortable with. I am also tired of relationships in Hawaii.
So I understand how you feel.
You have to think, "Let the idiots go and move on ！ but sometimes it's difficult.

• それでもハワイが好き
• mail
• 2022/07/27 (Wed) 18:32
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No, no, no, I can't stand to see or hear the lies and harassment in Japanese society
more than local harassment.
They want to form a faction, or a group ！ ？ of friends.
If you can't say a single bad thing about your husband, you tend to be excluded from the faction, and
there is a tendency that you have to target someone else.
In fact, I personally have experienced the same thing.
It was a Japanese company in Waikiki.
I am also Japanese, but
I never want to work for a Japanese company again.
If I had stayed in that company, I would have had a lot of gray hair.
I was worried until I quit, but once I quit, how easy it was.

If you are suffering from mean Japanese now.
It takes courage to leave, but once you do, how easy it is.
Also, don't tell Japanese people in Hawaii about yourself.
That's why they ask so many questions as soon as they get to know you.
Many of them are also characterized by their tendency to lie and talk out of their mouths.
Please be careful and enjoy your life in Hawaii ！.