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1. About Friends（2kview/13res） Relationship / Friendship 2026/02/16 08:04
2. For girls who are in the process of getting marrie...（14kview/31res） Relationship / Friendship 2023/11/23 09:46
3. Couple Counseling（2kview/1res） Relationship / Friendship 2023/08/06 00:48
4. 国際結婚、旦那のパワハラ（17kview/28res） Relationship / Friendship 2020/12/01 20:01
5. 教えて（6kview/3res） Relationship / Friendship 2017/04/26 00:11
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About Friends

Relationship / Friendship
#1
  • 友達
  • mail
  • 2026/02/06 15:22

Hi ！
Nice to meet you and post.
I have been in Hawaii for 10 years.
I have a husband and elementary school aged children.
When my children were young, I had a good amount of friends who were moms
but now I only have one friend.
I think I have a difficult
personality, because after getting to know them well, I find I don't like them
and fade away from them. I am also sensitive
to the words of others.
I am not good in large groups either.
I want to keep a good relationship with everyone, but it doesn't go well
.
I feel lonely
with only one friend after 10 years of being here.
I'm also tired of having a relationship where we always party every week
(I had a friend like that before) ？ I wonder if I'm being selfish

How have you dealt with it ? <2069>
I would like to get your advice.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#5
  • POPS
  • 2026/02/10 (Tue) 13:31
  • Report

Hello. I have been in Hawaii for a long time and have children, but my mom friends only interacted with me during my child-rearing years, and none of them are still friends now that my children are grown. I have heard that there are moms around me who continue to have close relationships even after the distance has passed, but I am not very good at that kind of thing, so unless I hear from them, it's spontaneous. When my children were young, my own life revolved around them, so I tended to focus on my mom friends, but now that they are grown, I have found my own hobbies and my friendships have expanded from there. I don't really like the typical tea ＆ sit down and chat over lunch, so it was ideal for me to be able to approach someone at my own pace while sharing my own hobbies and enjoyment together, which was also a low hurdle. Also, you say yourself that you have a difficult personality, but what was your family environment like growing up? ？ Did you grow up in an environment that made it difficult for your friends to be themselves, such as parents putting unreasonable hopes or pressure on you or being more strict than necessary when you were a child ？? I was like that. I grew up in an environment where my parents always had strange expectations of me and I couldn't express my own personality, so I would always ask others to meet my basic needs that I would normally ask of my parents, and I would repeatedly end relationships when my expectations were different from theirs. I would fade out when I saw something I didn't like, and I would be sensitive to other people's words, but it was completely the same old me who would impose my own ideals of what I wanted the other person to be and what I hoped he or she would be like before I knew them properly, then become displeased and leave when things went a little different. Now I realize this vicious cycle and realize that this personality was not my fault but due to the environment in which I was brought up ＆ After accepting this, I have gradually changed and it has become easier to live. However, it is also true that I spent several decades of my life quite painfully because of this. For this reason I commented because I couldn't think of it as someone else's problem, but if I'm totally misguided, please let me through.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#6
  • 友達
  • 2026/02/14 (Sat) 21:38
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Hobbyist
I used to think nothing of it, but in recent years
when I realized that I have very few friends
I felt very sad, so I posted this.
Ideally, I would like to find my own hobbies and meet good friends
there.
Thank you for your opinion 😊.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#8
  • 友達
  • 2026/02/14 (Sat) 21:41
  • Report

Banana
Thank you for your opinion😊
I will take action so that one day I can meet a friend
with whom I can be natural.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#9
  • 友達
  • 2026/02/14 (Sat) 21:52
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Pops
I think it's ideal that you find a hobby and your friendships expand from there
. I sincerely
wish I could meet such friends.
I don't think there is anything wrong with my family environment, but I have realized recently that I have always tried to be a good person
because I didn't want people to hate me
and then I got tired of it and kept making excuses to stay away from people.
I felt that you have accepted yourself and are now living a wonderful life.
I will try to face myself so that one day I can be like that too.
Thank you for your valuable opinion 😊
I decided to go.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#10
  • POPS
  • 2026/02/15 (Sun) 07:34
  • Report

I believe that awareness is the most important first step, so from now on, if you find yourself thinking, "What is that ？" or "Why is this ？", please take a look at your own feelings, desires, and frustrations. You will definitely learn something from it, and I am sure you will change for the better little by little. I read in a psychology book that most people spend their whole lives blaming others for everything without realizing it. ！ The most important thing is not to be stressed or disillusioned with yourself, but to accept and cherish the fact that "that is fine" and spend your time with it.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

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For girls who are in the process of getting married

Relationship / Friendship
#1
  • Allure
  • mail
  • 2023/10/01 10:47

I am a woman living in Hawaii.

I heard from a male friend of mine who is engaged to be married.

He said that girls who are Japanese tourists and are engaged to be married don't know too much about the high cost of living in Hawaii.

You shouldn't say you want to get married, move to Hawaii and become a housewife.

No matter how beautiful you are, how healthy you are, how good your character is, marriage is a life.

Most couples living in Hawaii work together. Even the wives of doctors.

The cost of living is 2-3 times that of Japan. Japan is the only developed country where prices and incomes have remained almost the same for decades. Hawaii is America, so men and women are equal. It is not uncommon to find couples where the wife earns more than the husband.

If you want to have children, you should earn your own money as well as your husband's.

If your husband has already paid off the mortgage, that's still fine, but if you both buy the house and pay for it together, you can pay it off faster and have more credit in your own history in the future.

If the husband dies first, the wife won't even get a survivor's pension until she is in her 60s.

Too few companies will hire a Japanese woman in her 60s who has never worked in Hawaii at all.

Start working in your 20s, 30s, and 40s to gain experience. I used to be a tourist living in Japan, so I would be very happy if I could be of help.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#27
  • 類友
  • 2023/10/30 (Mon) 11:18
  • Report

#27 P

So you get married, regret it, and get divorced.

You finally meet a man who makes the same or more money than you and remarry. Japanese women.

If you live in Hawaii, there are many Hawaii men looking for Japanese women. Regardless of nationality.

Japanese women are popular not only with Asian, Middle Eastern, and mixed, but also with white and black men, so good luck Japanese men ！ ！.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#29

Are white men still popular these days ？
I don't think so in Hawaii.
I feel that there are surprisingly many people who remarry Japanese after divorcing white men.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#30
  • second
  • 2023/11/19 (Sun) 18:14
  • Report

＃ 29 Ichi-san

I guess it's a matter of fate and preference.

Some people have a Japanese husband the first time in Japan and a white husband the second time in Hawaii, and a black husband.

Some people are also white the second time and black the second time.

I have never met a Japanese man living in Hawaii whose wife is not Japanese （ White Black Asian other ）.

I still wonder if many Japanese men are looking for Japanese women.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#31
  • Two
  • 2023/11/19 (Sun) 22:55
  • Report

Yes, I agree.
Japanese women have married and remarried to people of various races, not only Caucasians.

Japanese men have only met Japanese women who are wives.
If there are any men here in Vivinavi who have wives of non-Japanese race
I would be happy to hear various opinions.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#32

Dear Second and Two

Thank you for your reply. I learned a lot.
It is a marriage, isn't it?

But have you married or remarried a white or black man
and has it lasted ？ long?

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

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Couple Counseling

Relationship / Friendship
#1
  • Kanikani22
  • mail
  • 2023/08/06 00:28

I'm sorry, I just wanted to post this to see if anyone knows anything about this.

If anyone has been to couples counseling, I would like to know the good and the bad ？

I had to quit my job, and now that I quit, I spend more time with my husband, and I am very stressed and worried. We both don't want a divorce.　He is usually a good person when he is in a good mood, as well as in terms of finances in his old age.


Maybe it's his age, but ？ he talks more intimidatingly than before.
When I point it out, he says I'm wrong, and when I start recording him, he takes on a kinder tone.
He is not fair. ！ In front of a third party, he is a quiet husband.

I see couples counseling in movies, so I wonder if this really improves the relationship ？.

It seems expensive.
Please let me know if you know anything about it.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#2
  • Sean0914
  • 2023/08/06 (Sun) 00:48
  • Report

I have had the pleasure of working with Dr. Setsuko Yano a long time ago.

It depends on the person whether it is effective or not,
but well, it changed my viewpoint and I am glad in some ways.

I was also able to use HMSA's insurance.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

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国際結婚、旦那のパワハラ

Relationship / Friendship
#1
  • Love
  • mail
  • 2020/11/14 07:01

国際結婚をしたばかりですが、コロナでまだソーシャルセキュリティナンバーが届かず仕事が出来ません。そして、引越してから5ヶ月ぐらい持病があり身体が本調子ではない状況でした。日本の仕事を全て辞めてハワイに来ました。48年間独身だったので結婚というものへの価値観がかなり偏っているのは事実です。

旦那から
「お前がハワイに来たくて来たんだろ」
「日本に帰れ」
「家賃、生活費は俺が払ってるんだ。お前はなにもしてないだろ」
「体調が悪いのは言い訳だ」

などを喧嘩の度によく言われます。これはアメリカでは普通ですか？
もしどなたかおススメのカウンセラーをご存知でしたら教えてください。

#21

結婚して日もまだ浅いうちからこんな事を言える男は延々続きますよ。貴女はカウンセリングを受けながら今後もモラハラやパワハラに耐えられると思いますか？
48にして日本に今までのキャリアも全て捨ててハワイに来た意味は有りますか？こんな心の狭い男と一緒に過ごすぐらいなら一人でいた方がよっぽど自由では有りませんか？よく考えてみて下さい。
私も専業主婦で旦那はアメリカ人ですがこんな事は言いませんよ。
って言うか言われたらさっさと離婚しますね。理解を得られない様な人間と生活を共にするぐらい苦痛な事は無いですから。

#23
  • 罪と専業主婦
  • mail
  • 2020/11/29 (Sun) 07:55
  • Report

物価の高いハワイで専業主婦だけしていてなんにも文句言われないなんて
とっても幸せですね。（ちょっと皮肉）
こういうひどいことを口にはしないとしても思っている人は多そうですよね。
家にいるだけでお前は何もしていないだろう的な。
コロナでみんなストレスたまっているから特にね。
離婚するかしないかはこの人が決めることですよね。

#24
  • オーツ
  • 2020/11/29 (Sun) 10:15
  • Report

＃１LOVEさん

LOVEさんはどのようにして旦那様と出会いましたか？

日本から引越して来たということは、ネットかお見合いでしょうか？

ハワイの物価高等のリサーチをしないで引越して来たのなら、旦那さんのパワハラだけでなく色々失望したでしょう。

旦那さんも同い年だとしたら、定年まで約15－20年。48歳でまだ賃貸でしたら、老後破産ですよ。

ハワイでリタイア夫婦と知り合って、賃貸の人に出会った事がありません。息子さんがご両親の賃貸を払ってあげている方には

出会った事があります。

賃貸と年金が同額なら、生活出来ないでしょう。よっぽどの預貯金がない限り。

リタイアする年齢で、住宅ローンが終えていたら、年金で生活出来ると思います。

そのような旦那さんと一緒に家を買いたくないと思ったら、別れたほうがいいと思います。

離婚して、自立して、日本人女性１人で家を買う人も少なくありません。

稼ぐ自信があったら、ハワイで頑張って欲しいし。そうでないなら、日本帰国したほうがいいでしょう。

#26
  • 通りすがり３
  • 2020/11/29 (Sun) 11:08
  • Report

#25 元風俗嬢さん

あなたが活躍稼げるようにハワイの法律を変えるように申請して下さい。
ご存知かと思いますが、先日ハワイで31歳の日系人レイプ犯が50万ドルを払って釈放されました。

被害に遭った40代の女性は重症です。
私達女性の敵です。ハワイの治安が悪化しています。
風俗が合法化されれば、レイプも減るでしょう。

日本人女性はナンパされやすいし、犯人は出会い系サイトに登録しているかもしれないので
本当に気を付けましょう。

#28
  • 罪と罰
  • 2020/11/30 (Mon) 10:20
  • Report

縁あって結婚した新婚のカップルに離婚した方が良いなんて書いて後日、読み直して反省してます。
よく納得いくまで外の景色でも見ながら冷静に話し合われたら良いと思います。旦那さんも色々なストレスから奥さんにしか当たりどころが無いのだと思います。
Loveさんも心の声を発して行く内に楽になって行くのでは無いでしょうか。こんなに沢山の人が質問にアドバイスをしてるのですから1人じゃ無いです。Loveさんは大丈夫ですよ。

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教えて

Relationship / Friendship
#1
  • まよ
  • mail
  • 2017/04/12 05:22

60歳過ぎた男性で、ハワイのシェアハウスに住むような人の生活レベルってどのくらいですか？
ちなみにアメリカ国籍、ハワイ在住10年

#2
  • mana
  • 2017/04/15 (Sat) 11:44
  • Report

まあホームレスよりはいいレベルでしょう。

私の友人には賃貸がほとんどいません。

ハワイはテンポラリーで住むなら賃貸でいいけど
長く住むなら購入したほうがBetterです。
ロケーション、人気の物件なら必ず高く売れますので
いい不動産投資になります。

自分のレベルに合った方とお付き合いされて下さいね。

#3

シェアは別にお金がないとかのレベルではないと思います。もちろん人によりますが、私の知り合いはホテルでマネージャーをしていてもお金をセーブするためにシェアしていますし、他の友人は一人が嫌いなのでシェアしています。

#4
  • akira
  • 2017/04/26 (Wed) 00:11
  • Report

ハワイでは賃貸は全くお金をセーブ出来ません。
10年で賃貸は2倍になりました。
オーナーのホームローンを払ってあげているのですから。
ホテルのマネージャーでは家を購入するには
難しいでしょう。10年以上前に購入されてたら現在の半額以下で
購入出来たので話は別になりますが。
やはり先見の目がある方がいいですよね！
パートナー選びのご参考になればと思います。

勿論 一生独身でいたい男性には関係ないでしょうね。

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